Take a break from yourself

Excruciating is the appropriate adjective to describe the pain I felt when I realised that I had mistakenly deleted my blog post for the week; a post I painstakingly composed.  It was a topic that got me excited and brought smiles to my face. I must have deleted it when I was de-cluttering my stored messages. I had so many of them especially on my blackberry that they began to irritate me. You know the message icon on blackberry- it is the warehouse for twitter messages, BB chats (and broadcasts) and stored messages. Most times I draft blog posts and store them there. So you can imagine how annoying it is for me to scroll down 13 unnecessary messages to get to an important one.  

On Thursday, I decided to get rid of them and I got rid of my blog post. I discovered this on Saturday morning when I wanted to publish it. It was a painful ouch! I didn’t know how to start all over. Not that I couldn’t, but it was not pleasurable thinking about it. So I decided not to blog that day (my way of rebelling). The following day Sunday, after mass and a long nap, I decided to work on my blog instead. (Rewriting that blog post was not part of my agenda, as I was still hurting over losing it.) 

Recently I added pages to my blog (About, My Quotes and Contact). The About page was reading ‘work in progress’ as I had not written what I wanted to publish about me. However that Sunday, I made sure I typed and published the contents of my ‘About’ page. I added more quotes to ‘My Quotes’ page from my Twitter account @frediliamomodu and edited my contact information. Also, I added a video page to my blog and shared two videos on it (the first video is my favourite- a room tourof a room I detested during NYSC). I finished working on my disclaimer and published it. The joy I felt after working on my blog site overpowered the anger I felt for mistakenly deleting the unpublished blog post. I was sincerely impressed even though it made me realise I still had a lot more work to do. 

That was when it came to me like a light bulb that once in a while we need to take a break from the routine. We need to look at what we have done so far and re-evaluate ourselves. We need to look at what we have been doing, areas we can or should improve on and make the necessary changes. Sometimes we become experts in the routine and gloat in our distorted expertise. We need to be able to plan ourselves well enough not to fall victims of the usual. We ought to know when to take a break and look at the big picture. We need to figuratively step out of our bodies and re-evaluate ourselves thoroughly. It helps us realise where we have gone wrong or what we have been missing. It helps us realise if we have been living someone else's dreams or living the kind of life we desire deep down inside. Ultimately, it makes us more focused, balanced, fulfilled and happier individuals.

This incident made me remember the seventh habit in 7 habits of highly effective people by Stephen R. Covey- sharpen the saw; where he told a story of a man who had been sawing a tree for over five hours and was complaining about how difficult it was. When advised by another man to take time out to sharpen his saw, he replied that he was too busy sawing.

Let us not get caught up trying to get results that we lose the essence of our being.  Do not give in to the pressures of our fast paced world that you don’t pause to smell the flowers. Do not get caught up in doing that you don’t be. Take a break from yourself; sharpen your saw and during this phase, ask yourself questions like this, “Who am I? What do I represent? What do I want from life? Why am I doing this? Is this what I truly want from life? Am I truly happy and so many more” Whatever question you may ask yourself or whichever way you may go about it, the whole essence is to guide you to living the life you truly desire, a life that brings joy to your heart and smiles to your face when you think of it. A life that brings you satisfaction. A life that doesn't have to be perfect (and most times  isn't) but must be yours.

Just like two children writing a long essay with a pencil and both eager to get their ideas out. One child keeps writing without taking a pause to sharpen his pencil because he is carried away with the ideas pouring out of him. He keeps writing oblivious how his work looks. All he wants is to finish and get all his ideas out. The pencil becomes blunt but he keeps writing till he is done. However the second child while writing checks his pencil; if blunt, takes out his sharpener, and sharpens it. Each time he notices the pencil is blunt, he takes out his sharpener and sharpens it. The first child got attention for finishing first while the second got recognition for finishing well. 

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Never underestimate the power of the mind

One Saturday evening, my mum returned from the market and told me we were going to prepare catfish/turkey pepper soup and yam for dinner, instead of chicken stew like I thought. She bought some catfish which I was to cut and wash. Satisfied with the meal since it was faster to prepare, I took a knife from the knife block and began to cut the fish. I was a little careful so the knife would not cut me, although I had to apply a significant amount of pressure to get the knife through the slippery fish. I kept on cutting till I got to the last piece closest to the head which was the toughest. I struggled with it using my energy and was determined to pass the knife through it.

Lost in the battle between the knife and the slippery fish, I heard my mum's voice say to me, ''sorry dear, I didn't see those people who sharpen knives when I went out. Let me help you.'' This brought me out of the battlefield back to the kitchen where I was actually standing. "What!", I screamed in my mind still trying to process the news. I couldn't believe what I had just heard! I had been cutting the fish with the same blunt knife I complained about yesterday. The knife I swore I would not use again until it was sharpened! I thought it was sharpened, believed it was, and used it like it was. Even though I had to exert more force while cutting the catfish, it never crossed my mind that it was the same blunt knife I despised. I just kept on using it till I got the job done. If I had known that it was not sharpened, I would have complained while cutting the fish and I would have been slower and irritated. I used the same knife but got a different result because I had a different mindset. With the aid of my mind, the knife was able to do the job. Still puzzles me when I think of it.

This seemingly insignificant event buttresses the following popular sayings:
If you believe, you can achieve.
If you can think it, you can be it.
Thoughts become things.

Remez Sasson Quotes:

Your mind is the generator of failure, and also the generator of success.

When the mind thinks of success, the outside world mirrors these thoughts.Your thoughts and mental images create your circumstances. Master your thoughts and mental images, and you gain power over your circumstances.
What you get is determined by the scope of your thoughts. 

As you can all see, one's attitude is the most important element of success and success starts from mind.  




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I now know how cheaters feel

Stacey excitedly told me "I now know how cheaters feel." I gazed at her surprisingly, "Cheaters? Did you cheat on your boyfriend?" She yelled, "no o, that's not what I mean. Why should your mind go to boyfriend? I mean exam cheaters." "Oh", I said, "how do YOU mean exactly?" Then she started narrating in her story-telling tone. 

"Back in the secondary school and university days, I had some friends who couldn't do without voltron  (cooperation) in the exam hall. I saw them as students who lacked focus. You know, I saw them as unserious students who didn't take their academics as a priority. I didn't understand why a student would depend on another student to pass their exams. The courses/subjects were written and taught in English, so where was the problem coming from? Not like I never asked in the hall, but that was in my 1st and 2nd year and it wasn't a constant thing. However, it was a norm for some. They would always plan their sitting arrangement before the commencement of the exam while some would carry in chips if they could. In the hall, they would keep making suspicious body movements, whispering and turning their heads 180 degrees. What baffled me most was when they passed, they would rejoice even more loudly than those who genuinely wrote the exam. I used to wonder why they never felt ashamed that it wasn't by their own effort.  

Not until recently when I did a serials of tests for courses I barely read. Not like I didn't want to study them but I didn't have the time and truth be told, reading them was not feasible. Who was the freak (well not me) to read over a 100 pages for 2 courses and about 40-60 pages for the 6 other courses on one Saturday? Although the courses were uploaded online 2 months before that Saturday, I sincerely did not have the time to read them. Also I thought I would not need to study them since they were about-the-job topics but I was very wrong. They were ridiculously hard and required one to have a deep understanding of the topics. Since failing was not an option for me, I asked my friends for help. The funny thing was they needed help too. So we cooperated.

They were online courses in which you get rated immediately after submission. The total scores for each course and the average of all would be sent. After I did mine, I checked my average score and I scored above 70percent, I couldn't contain my joy. I screamed as I sat in front of the system staring at my score. At that moment, I realised it was not about knowing the courses but all about passing. The courses had nothing to do with my personal goals (and I had no interest in them) so understanding them was not my objective. They were just about-the-job tests I had to. If I had my way, I would have completely ignored them but I could not unless I got another job (which I pray one day I will). I was filled with  ecstasy. I thanked God for my success and told friends and family about it.
 

Basking in my euphoria, it occurred to me that I cheated.  I cheated and I didn't feel guilty about it, not a bit. Do I see myself as a cheat? Nope! I see myself as a smart chic who did what she could to succeed and succeeded." As for my back-in-the-day friends, it was not like they didn't want to learn. They didn't just know it and couldn't understand it. I am pretty sure they were not interested in comprehension. 

What more could I have said? She was still smiling and obviously happy. She managed to convince me, though I don't support school exam cheaters because their sole responsibility is to study, comprehend and pass their exams without cheating. For a busy worker whose job is not in line with her dreams, I understand her. I only congratulated her and we chatted away like inseparable twins.

Bye 2012, hi 2013...

It's a new year again yey! 2013 is here with new possibilities, new opportunities and new promises. Many have written goals and how they want to accomplish them. Many have also written their resolutions for the New Year which I pray they stick to. 

I sense some guys' resolution is to get married because two guys who wanted more than friendship and one who said outright that he wanted marriage are back again after we had settled for friendship and nothing more. I pray they find their dream women. 

Anyway, looking at 2012 in retrospect, I have a lot to be thankful for:

 

First of all, I give thanks to God almighty for keeping me, my family, my friends, and my loved ones alive to see this New Year. It is impossible for me to list the endless marvellous things God did in my life in 2012, so I would just say "Thank you God for everything".

 

I worked successfully with people whom others were afraid of and I have built cordial relationships with them. 

I have learnt to see the positive side of every situation and the best in people.

I am more in control of my emotions and don't let the unnecessary get to me.

I am more self-aware and more certain about what I want from life. 

I am more decisive, more confident and more me. 

Lastly, I have learnt that too much TV is dangerous. 

It could kill you! Well not literally, but it could kill your dreams; because you would keep postponing and pushing important stuff aside till something important passes you by; and to me, a man without dreams is dead. I was a victim last year especially between October and December (though nothing important that I know of passed me by). I postponed a lot because I wanted to watch TV and my favourite series. 

I would plan my Saturday in way that I would achieve at least two important things at the end of the day but my love for TV wouldn't let me (It crept in like a drug addiction). Once there was power supply, I would get tempted just to check what was going on TV and that was all it took to get me glued to it till I got tired and bored. It could be a DVD, a sitcom, musicals, a Yoruba film, whatever, as long as it was coming from that well-shaped ultra-slim electronic device.

As if in agreement to what I was experiencing, 'children's exposure to television' was part of AIT news yesterday, how it affects the children and when parents should draw the line.

That menace aside, I would say in summary that 2012 helped in molding my personality and I can proudly say I have grown. 

My resolution this year is same as my bestie's-to be more focused, but mine is with respect to my lust for TV...my plans first, TV next. I have started and hope to continue in the same vein. Wish me luck friends.

I know you all have something or many things to be thankful for. Let us begin the new year with a heart of gratitude no matter what we had been through in 2012 and with a positive outlook at 2013. Let us do all we can to get the best out of 2013 with God beside us. It is your life friends, own it and enjoy it!
I wish you all a HAPPY NEW YEAR full of the best things life has to offer!