1 woman--1 issue--3 guys--3 advices=1 perfect solution

source wild child

Something unusual happened to me yesterday. I got so fed up with been around people with mediocre attitude and myopic thinking that it affected everything about me: my appetite (no food appealed to me), my mood (I was irritable), my countenance (I didn't smile that day at work except sarcastic smiles count). That day, it was strictly MYB-Mind Your Business. No office chinwag, no trying to be nice to the boss, no going the extra mile to help; I just wasn't in the mood for any of those. 

Imagine putting so much priority on the clock in register. Someone comes in at 7.30am but writes 7.29am and some people take it as their duty to check their wrist watches to see if it's truly 7.29am, then spend some precious minutes arguing loudly that it is actually 7.31am. No one checks the register for pity's sake neither is it used as a criterion for appraisal. A pregnant staff wears a big gown to the office as opposed to the usual tight-fitting corporate wear and the gown becomes a topic of discussion. They call them (the gown and the preggy) all sorts of funny names and tell whoever cares to listen how the gown reminds them of something or someone funny. She is pregnant for crying out loud and her tummy is protruding, do you expect her to wear a tight-fitting jacket to work? Then when did eating breakfast and lunch become eating too much? Was there any memo? Someone please send me an email! You go for your breakfast at 8am, tongues wag that it is too early. You go for your lunch at 3pm, a debate is started to judge if you like food or not. Then a conclusion is reached that you like food.  Eating three times a day is freaking normal people! Ask your doctor! If you cannot afford it, don't blame those who can!

Thinking of all these and more just got me irritated yesterday. I didn't smile like I used to, I ignored all those who brought up time-wasting mediocre discussions (my new strategy now), and I didn't pick my calls on my mobile (I didn't feel like talking). In the evening after I got home, I decided to pick my calls. I received three calls from three different guys who are close to me. When they asked me how I was and how my day went, I told them exactly how I felt as stated above and added a little melodrama, then asked for their advice. 

First guy-He went all spiritual. He advised I take my frustrations to God and let Him take control. He also advised me never to cease praying and to always have faith in God. He said I should just ask God for His will to be done in my life and wait on Him for a change. He said God has a reason for everything and things would surely get better with time. He ended by telling me to cheer up and stop worrying. 

Second guy-He was really factual. He first said he would not advise me to resign just like that but I should plan towards it. Then he asked if I had thought of going into business and advised I start thinking of business ideas. He asked me what I was interested in, my skills and natural gifts and explored various business ideas with me and their likely challenges. He told me I could be whatever I wanted to be as long as I put my mind in it.

The 1st guy didn't think of the reality on ground, he based his advice solely on the spiritual. Though it first comes to past in the spirit before it manifests physically, but faith without good works is dead. You can't pray for success in your ICAN exams and sleep all day, else failure with all that comes with it awaits such a person. The 2nd guy never mentioned prayer, faith or God unlike the 1st guy. To him, as long as you work hard and you are determined to make it, you will. I will not dispute that fact but I still prefer to put God in the picture.  
Just like one of #FrediliaMomoduQuotes Do not wait until you are worn out from trying before you ask God for help, turn to Him from the start and every time.
 

Third guy- He was just hilarious. He made me laugh amidst my worries. When he called and I told him how I felt, he first told me it was just a matter of time. But when I insisted that he wasn't helping and I needed concrete advise, he told me to hang myself and just end it all in his usual sense of humour. I just laughed and realised I was actually over working myself. He made me realise that I had it all at my finger tips and just needed to calm down. 

After his call, I thought of the three different advices I got from my three different male friends and realised that the best of all three advices was the combination of them. Take my burdens to God in prayer and ask for wisdom(1st guy); plan, work hard and be focused(2nd guy); enjoy my journey to success no matter how bumpy(3rd guy). Funny enough, the advices came in the right sequence: God first, hard work, and just take it easy as you strive in faith. This just accentuates the awesome nature of God and how He uniquely made each one of us. As for moi, I am far better than yesterday- I feel awemazing!!!

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Bros, what do you really want? Part 3

Bros, what do you really want? Part 2 and the story continues...

Immediately, Stacey pinged bros' younger brother who is her good friend and asked him for Mr recruiter's phone number. His brother gave it to her immediately but then did a double take and asked her why she wanted it. Stacey didn't waste any time in updating him. Their chat went like this:
(Let's call his brother B) 

Stacey-Pls can u give me your brother's no?
B-080++++ Hope all is well?

Stacey-Nope, I wana tongue-lash him!
B-Why?
Stacey-Really mad at him, he doesn't respect my space!
B-What happened? Aahh! How! Pls don't! Oh o o o, why! Why did I give u his number without asking? Abeg na, just do this for me. Pls, don't do it!
Stacey-After mass he is always trying to tell me about his organisation and persuading me to join which is not bad. But I have noticed that even though he knows I'm with someone he doesn't respect that fact and leave me alone. Today he really got me pissed. You know my bf travelled and came back for 3wks.  You know we normally see after mass. Today my bf was waiting for me as usual and as I was going to meet him your brother as usual starting pestering me about joining the organisation. I told him someone was waiting for me; he saw my bf yet he didn't want to leave.
B-OMG! I'm sowie about that but pls don't do the tongue-lashing thing.
Stacey-I was still trying to get to my bf who had been standing under the sun waiting for me but your bro didn't deem it fit to leave me alone. He was still being pushy and insinuated that I should have said all I wanted to say to my bf inside the church. He said something like "what else do you have to say?" Still not leaving me alone. I didn't want to push him aside or embarrass him but I wanted to see my bf. I was kinda stuck and he was making it worse. He didn't even have enough respect in him to say hi to my bf who was still patiently waiting. Even my mum had to ask me why I kept my bf waiting and was talking to someone else for so long. My bf got angry and left. Your bro does it every time and I don't like it. He should know when to take his leave and how to respect someone's space. Is it too much for him to tell my bf to excuse him instead of acting like my bf's invisible?
B-Hmmmmm
Stacey-Is it because my bf is quiet and doesn't react easily? u can't do that to some guys!

B-Guys like me u know...really sowie anyway
Stacey-Pls tell him to stay clear from me next Sunday becuase he would hate my reaction. As for the organisation thing, he should recruit someone else.
B-But all the same sowie, u should have let me know this before it got to this. Just take ma apologies ok?
Stacey-I won't call him for ur sake, thanks anyway.
B-Wow, uw!

I advised her not to let his attitude be the reason why she wasn't joining the organisation. I told her to do a rethink after she had calmed down, since joining the organisation would be good for her spiritual growth.

The story actually continues...Stacey saw him on Sunday as she left the church after mass. He approached her as she was looking for her dad's car at the park. As he walked up to her, Stacey shut him up before the words came out of his mouth. After walking around the entire park, she finally saw her dad's car and to her amazement, saw bros with her bf! Bros was reporting Stacey to her boyfriend for involving his younger brother.  After he was done, he went to Stacey and told her he was angry with her. Stacey said she assumed not to hear a thing and asked him when the next meeting would hold. (It is this Sunday yikes!) 

Stacey informed me that her bf told her that bros apologized for crossing his boundary but claimed he never knew he (Stacey's bf) was dating Stacey. "What a fat lie!" she said. Even her bf said bros was lying, since virtually the whole church knows about Stacey's relationship with her bf.

That's all from Stacey and bros because their matter sef don tire me; but still thinking, what does bros actually want? Stacey or Stacey's salvation? I still don't know. 
Anyway, humans...je ne comprends pas! smh...

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Bros, what do you really want? Part 2

Bros, what do you really want? Part 1 and the story continues...

Stacey's boyfriend travelled for two months and she had missed him terribly. He came back last two weeks to spend three weeks with her, meaning her routine was back to normal for three weeks.

On Sunday, the second week of Stacey's bf's arrival, this bros as usual accosted Stacey after the mass just as she stepped outside the church building and tried talking her into joining the young workers' organisation like he had been doing for a few weeks now. Stacey said she didn't waste any time in telling him that someone was waiting for her while pointing to her boyfriend. He looked, saw her boyfriend from afar, and said "Oh! he is around!" She said she ignored him and continued walking towards her boyfriend. Then he made another comment that annoyed her, "what else do you want to talk about? Haven't you said enough in the church?" But she said she gave him the what-the-heck look and said nothing. More annoying was the fact that he refused to let her be and kept following her as if he was programmed to do so. He also kept on talking like he had no control over his tongue. 

Stacey said she couldn't walk fast because she was on high-heels and the car park covered with gravel didn't make it easier. Since it was the end of mass, everywhere was crowded with people trying to leave the church. Also, car owners were moving their cars out of the park, and before she moved a short distance she would hear the honk of a car alerting her to halt for them to move out which she had to obey to avoid being hit. This gave this brother the opportunity to talk more and he made sure he utilised it. He said things like, "why don't you want to join the group? You will meet people just like you. I know it is not easy but it is just one Sunday in a month. You can make it; I know you don't work on Sundays. God gave you that job, don't let it hinder your serving Him. He can also take it away you know, what would you do then?" Bla bla bla he went. 

Stacey said that even though she fought the urge to yell at him, she realised that he began to make sense and she nodded in agreement until she heard him say, "It is not all about money, you need to dedicate your time to God. I don't like the idea of people showing off before giving. If I want to donate in church, I do it silently, I don't take a mic and announce." Stacey said she cut him short at that point because he had touched a sensitive part of her. How dare he accuse her falsely! Who even gave him the right to interfere with her spiritual life? He had no right to tell her how to serve God. (The Stacey I know doesn't even publicize her donations, so I also wondered where he got his fact from.) Stacey said she got caught up trying to defend herself and by the time she looked in her boyfriend's direction, she saw him storming away. At the same time, she saw her siblings beckoning her to get into car. At that moment, Stacey said she felt like the world's dumbest idiot. She said she immediately called her boyfriend and started apologising. He was mad indeed and she felt really really bad.

To her surprise, when she got home, her mum called her and admonished her for what she did. Her mum said she saw her boyfriend waiting for her and she watched him as he waited patiently. She said her mum told her that she should have excused herself from the other guy to meet her boyfriend. She narrated to me that when she explained to her mum that the other guy was really engaging her with church tinz, her mum laughed and told her not to be deceived. In her mum's words, "Which organisation? Don't you know men can be funny? What if he is interested in you and is just using church to cover up? Didn't he see your boyfriend waiting for you? A guy with good intentions would have respected you and given you space. Make sure you don't act like that again! How do you think your boyfriend would feel? Put yourself in his shoes...next time tell that guy off ok!" 

Stacey called me on the phone to tell me the above but I invited over to get the full gist. She came over in the afternoon and gave me the gist proper. She said she acknowledged the truth in what bros said about dedicating time to God, but the fact that he didn't respect her space and her boyfriend's presence got her mad because she kept on telling him someone was waiting for her. Worse of all, her boyfriend left in anger when he saw her family getting into the car ready to leave. Her bf had waited too long and people kept asking him why he was waiting and who he was waiting for. Well, I didn't have to ask him because I knew why. I actually saw him waiting and just said hello to him since we had talked inside the church. He smiled back like nothing was wrong...real gentleman I must confess. I even saw Stacey and the silly young man chatting and just shook my head. She jokingly said I should have dragged her away when I saw her. 

As she complained about bros' attitude, she screamed all of a sudden like she had an epiphany and said aloud "that guy is a chameleon. He is just jealous seeing me and my bf together. He is just looking for an avenue to get closer. Maybe he wanted to ask me out before my bf came into the picture and now he is regretting why he didn't make a move so he wants to spoil it for me. No be organisation at all jare! No wonder! Ahn ahn! Every blessed Sunday he would be pestering my life, na only me dey that church! I must finish him next Sunday. If he dares cross my path, he would hate the words that I would lash out. In short I cannot wait till Sunday, I will call him." 

To be continued...

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Bros, what do you really want? Part 1

Homo sapiens are so complicated that one cannot fully grasp the complexity of the thoughts that go on in their heads (not exempting myself). Some humans sometimes display attitudes like those of the cunning tortoise in the funny stories our grannies used to tell us. Some get you so confused that when they tell you 'you look good' you have to check to see if your lip stick isn't bleeding. Why am I saying this?

Stacey and I are Catholics and we worship at the same church. She always sits with her boyfriend in church and most times after mass, they meet at the car park before they part ways. Stacey doesn't belong to any society or organisation in church; she is the Sunday only type and prefers to assist financially. Reason is she doesn't really fancy the parish, as she claims that it is too local and the members are too dull for her liking. Stacey is one crazy and wild 'homo sapien' who just loves to do her thing as she pleases, one of the reasons I love her. It is the parish her family goes to and it is the closest to their house-it is a norm for them to go to church as a family and anyone who does otherwise would see the wrath of their father. Her plan is to endure till she moves to a new area through the avenue of marriage to her dear boyfriend, then seek a livelier church. Her routine for now is: come to church on Sunday--sit beside her love + listen to the sermon--say hi to close friends (me inclusive) after the mass--meet her bf at the car park--head home with her family. 

Some weeks back, Stacey started drumming into my ears that she was interested in joining an organisation in the church for young workers. I was shocked that my sister from another mother was considering joining an organisation in the church she considered not happening. So I asked her what inspired the decision. She revealed that one of their members, a young man, had been persuading her to join them and she thought it would be a great way to offer her time to God. I had seen her with the dude twice or three times. She said the group met just once in a month which was convenient for her and it was a group she could easily fit into since she is a young working class lady. Although she said she was still contemplating and hadn't give the young man her final answer, but she was likely to say yes. I was happy for my sweet friend and encouraged her to join the group. 

The following Sunday was their meeting day; unfortunately, Stacey wore her super high-heeled shoes and couldn't wait behind for the meeting, as she couldn't do the commercial busventure in her stiletto heels. Also, considering that she had to trek some distance on the bad untarred road to get a bus, staying behind for the meeting was totally out of it. To top it all, her Saturday was full of activities and she needed the whole of her Sunday for proper rest and recuperation. She went home with her parents instead. This made Stacey rethink her joining the group as she said she didn't want to make commitments she wouldn't keep. 

The next Sunday, this young man  stopped Stacey as she was going to meet her boyfriend at the park. He asked her why she didn't make it to the meeting and if she was still interested in becoming a member of the group. Stacey said she gave her honest answers and excused herself since her boyfriend was waiting for her. She said she noticed that she practically had to shut him up and walked away hurriedly because it seemed like he was prepared to occupy her with his preachings on why she should become a member. She said she thought that was it from Mr you-need-to-join-our-organisation until she noticed it was becoming his habit and he was trying to force his way into her precious routine. 

She said this dude wasn't taking no for an answer and was acting as if he was sent on a mission to recruit her. As a result, she just played it cool and polite since it was a spiritual matter and each time promised to give it more thought. However Stacey said she had enough of it last week because the dude had overstepped his boundary. 

To be continued...

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English Palava!

A middle aged man maybe in his thirties wanted to pay for a particular service in an organisation. He had just been from the scorching sun and had to trek a ridiculous distance because a truck full of goods had fallen across the road causing a major traffic jam. 

In order to get to the organisation before they shut their doors to customers, he came down from the bus, where he was sandwiched between two fat women, to get a bike. Unfortunately for him there were none, so put his tired legs into action till he got lucky. Well, not so lucky because the bike fee was double the usual price. This already agitated man tried to bargain his way out but to no avail. Having no other alternative, he took the bike and paid the hiked fees. 

When he arrived at his destination, he asked the security guard which floor he was to go to, to pay for that service since the building was a five-storey building. The tired security guard who had been very busy all day and couldn't wait end his shift just said, "go up!".

The man went into the building through the glass doors and immediately met a young man, a professional staff of the company, coming out. He said, "good afternoon my brother, please where do I pay for...?" The famished young man who was rushing to the canteen replied sharply, "second floor" and disappeared.

This young man took the  1st  storey they were on as the first floor-American English. However, the customer counted the 1st storey as the ground floor British English-our adopted lingua and went to the 3rd storey of the building. The customer was right based on the British interpretation of what the young man told him, although payment area was actually on the first floor-2nd storey. Ouch!

 

When he got there he walked up to a young lady, Tashia who was chatting away with her colleague and told her what he wanted. Immediately she heard the word 'pay', she said loudly, "all payments downstairs-first floor." The man tried to explain, "but ma, I was directed to the second floor by one of your staff". She apologized and told him it was first floor. Grumbling in a low voice, he made his way to the first floor where he met a serious looking lady, Raquel behind her desk typing on her computer. He asked her if she was the person he was to  pay to, but she replied in a flat tone without looking at the customer, "the link is down". 

The man screamed "DOWN! Do you know the stress I have been through to get here? You people should learn to pass correct information to your customers. What kind of nonsense is this? You just make things difficult for..." Before she could apologise and try to explain further, he was already on his way downstairs.

On getting to the ground floor, he met a pretty young woman, arranging some files on her desk and asked her in a harsh tone, "who is collecting payment for...?" The lady replied, "all payments are made upstairs Sir". She had no idea what came over this man when he started screaming at her and raining curses on the company. "Do you work here? Do you know what you are saying? How can you tell me to go upstairs when I was just directed down here? What is wrong with you people? Is this how you toss your customers around? Is that what you are paid to do? Where is your manager? I want to speak with your manager since none of you can attend to me...on and on he went" His voice was so loud that those on the first floor could hear him.

In frustration, worked up Gabby who thought she had been through for the day asked him, "Please Sir, who told you to come to this floor to make payments?" He told her it was a lady upstairs who was doing God knows what on her computer system and didn’t have the courtesy to even look at him. Out of sympathy for the man, she went with him to see who misdirected him and to put things straight.

As they went upstairs, he kept on lamenting loudly on how he suffered to get the company (the traffic, the scorching sun, the trekking, the hiked fees) only for a man to tell him he was to go to the second floor when it was actually the first floor; and  on getting to the first floor he was told the link was down. Then he went down and was directed back upstairs.

Everyone on the first floor could hear that he was coming and braced up to see what would happen next. When he saw Raquel, he screamed pointing his index fingers at her, "look at her, she is the one that told me to go downstairs." 

Gabby asked Raquel why she told the customer to go downstairs to pay for a service she handles. She replied that she didn't say so but told him the link was down. The man quickly interjected in a loud and angry tone, "you see, she cannot deny it. She told me the link was down and I went downstairs". Gabby not could hold it back; she burst into laughter, so did everyone on the second floor. 

"The link is down" meant there was no network service, implying he could not pay for the service that day...after all the stress. 

Only if the first man he met on the ground floor had just used the right phrase/English language i.e. first floor/British English, he could have saved the customer a lot of stress. Also the customer misinterpreted ‘the link is down’ to mean the link is downstairs instead of no service network.

Poor man, a victim of English palava...