HOW TO TRAIN YOUR CHILD IN THE WAY OF THE LORD-Tips to remember

I wrote this article which got published in our 2014 Children and Youth Harvest brochure. The harvest took place today and I thank God for answering my prayer-it did not rain. *smiles* This write-up is for parents and intending parents. A friend of mine said her dad needs to read #2.

Children are precious gifts from God and they need to be nurtured with wisdom because the way a child is trained determines to a great extent the type of adult the child would become. This means parents have a large role to play in the lives of their children. Below are tips parents should always remember as they train their children in the way of the Lord:

Do not try to play God: Parents should allow their children to be who God has created them to be. Do not plan out your children’s lives without seeking God’s opinion or their opinions. Your job is to guide them in the way of the Lord, not control them or manipulate them. If he wants to study theatre arts, don’t force him to study law. Do not kill the dreams of your children by imposing your dreams on them. God has a plan for each child.

Do not compare your children: Child A could be excellent at Mathematics, while child B could be excellent at Literature, whichever case, there are both excellent. Parents never compare your children outright or secretly. Never let a child feel like his or her sibling is better or is loved more. Do not breed unhealthy competition among your children. This could lead to jealousy and disunity. Embrace their differences. Your first child may be book smart while the second may be more skilled with his hands. Learn to accept and love your children for who they are.

Discipline with love: Just like you do not kill a mosquito with a hammer, do not treat your child with so much aggression over a minor transgression. When your child does something wrong, punish with love and not anger. Don't just scream and insult, criticise constructively. Let your child know the reasons why his/her actions are wrong. Also do not call your child derogatory names or label him/her negatively. You would be doing more harm than good.

Listen to your children: For some parents, it is either their way or no way. They assume they know what is best for their children and don't listen to what they have to offer. Any  ideas from their child that is contrary to theirs seem like a challenge to their authority. It should not be so. You kill your children's self esteem each time you shut them up  when they try to express themselves. Although your child shares your genetic makeup, he/she is uniquely different from you. It is not a crime to engage in healthy arguments with your child, it could help you learn more about your child or even learn from your child.

Be a good example: How can you teach your male child to love and respect a woman when most of the time you belittle your wife and treat her like her opinions do not matter? How can you teach your female child to be a peacemaker when you always nag and insult your husband in their presence? Exhibit values you want your children to imbibe. Be a role model to your children.

Commit your child to God: God says "Without me you can do nothing" and anything put in God's hands is safe, so always commit your children to God through prayers. Also teach them the word of God; bring them close to God; and let them understand what it means to serve God in spirit and truth, because life is a whole lot better when you walk with God.

Finally, I will conclude by quoting Proverbs 22: 6 "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it."

Till the next post, be uniquely different!

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